Manuel Betancourt

RIP 30 Rock, or How Long Live 30 Rock

January 31, 2013 · in TV

Shut up everyone, shut up Lutz! My favorite sitcom of all time ends tonight and I wanted to take a second and thank its creator:

Thank you Tina Fey…

For giving me two Black Swans,
For your obsession with Star Wars (“I don’t think it’s fair for me to be on a jury because I’m a hologram”)
For making me want to go to there,
For teaching me tuxedo etiquette (“It’s after six Lemon, what am I a farmer?”)
For Bijou (“Call us in English, German or Polish”)
For giving Jane plenty to sing (“My muffin-top is all that”)
For Sabor de Soledad (“Ahora con mas semen de toro!”)
For life-long advice (“Never follow a hippie to a second location”)
For Mickey Rourke jokes (“I’m going to have to break you down and build you back up, just like Mickey Rourke did to me sexually”)
For the alternate Liz Lemons (with or without Seinfeld money),
For MILF Island (and erection cove),
For Queen of Jordan (“Rude!”),
For Homonym (“Nope. It’s the other one!”)
For the Rural Juror (“Roar her gem her?”)
For el Generalissimo (“You are… surprisingly gay”)
For Kenneth’s Sydney-Bristowing (“I’ll use my sexuality as a weapon!”)
For Joker Liz (“I AM sick, sick like a fox!”)
For fat Jenna (“It’s visual trickery!”)
For “Hard to Watch, based on the book Stone Cold Bummer by Manipulate”
For Abby Flynn (“I’m a very sexy baby!”)
For Colleen Donaghy (“You give me ten minutes with the Lemon family and I’ll have them tearing at each other like drag queens at a wig sale”)
For D’Fwan (“D’fwink responsibly”)
For devilishly gay Devon Banks (“If there’s one thing I learned from you Jack is keep your friends close… and your enemies so close, you’re almost kissing”)
For Dr Spaceman (“Erectile disfunction, is not just a dog problem anymore”)
For Werewolf Bar Vitzvah (“Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves!”)

For Jacks’s romantic interests (“Who is number one on your speed dial?”/”I have hollow bones”/”You know I love my Big Beef and Cheddar!”/”I’ll try. Wicked hard.”/”‘It’ meaning ‘business'”/”You will never see the crazy underwears I have on!”)

For Lemon’s romantic interests (“What you’re too good for me now that I have pirate hands?”/”Hey dummy!”/”Can I get another salmon compadre?”/”Question about Lando Calrissian: is that an Armenian name?”/”Velocipede”/”Kimiko-san”/”I will WASTE you!”)

… I could go on (I haven’t even mentioned “Apollo Apollo”, Greenzo, Shanice, Kaylee, Jeffrey Wienerslav, Argus, Prince Gerhart, Borpo, Jackie Jormp-Jormp, Verna, Angie,, Frank’s hats, Christmas Attack Zones, Reaganing, Lizbeanism, EGOTing, double-edge swords, female fight clubs, Sims Families that keep getting murdered, potentially harmful eye-rolls, robot-penises, shameful cookie jars, (meat) lovers (pizza), cheesy-blasters, night cheeses, slankets, Ludachristmas, Criss points, micro-naps, McFlurrrries, came-rahs, strides of pride, Sandwich days, Shark Weeks, Alfie & Abner, Dratch-as-Liz-Taylor, Anna Howard Shaw Day, paintings of horses, Kim Jong Il…)
But most of all, thank you for a wonderfully zany and cleverly irreverent sitcom that not only played to my pop culture loving personality (“You Solo-ed me!”) but nurtured it (“Blerg” “What the what?!” “Who’s got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn’t cried today?” “This is not toward!” “HAM!” “Listen up fives, a ten is speaking!” “Nerdz!” “Charles-what-now?” “Me want food!”).
Tonight, Fey & co. are shutting it down. We will be saying “Good Peacock!” and waving (like a human!) to the show. But it okay, don’t be cry.

I will always treasure the laughs and the tears (from the laughs) Fey & co. offered me through these past seven seasons and nary a week will pass without me revisiting one of their crazy shenanigans. Here’s hoping Jack, Liz, Tracy, Jenna and Kenneth go to sitcom heaven high fiving a million angels!

Lemon out!